We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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