Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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