i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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