i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
