You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize