Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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