I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
