I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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