im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
