Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
