Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
