I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
