i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
