you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
