Do you still have your period?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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