I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
