Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize