can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
