i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
