Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
