You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Can i not drive my cunt home
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
