Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again

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(269): View more from Michigan

We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.

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(404): View more from Georgia

considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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(716): View more from New York

Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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(636): View more from Missouri

Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"

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(903): View more from Texas

I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.

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(440): View more from Ohio

See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage

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(440): View more from Ohio

he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now

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