he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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