I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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