ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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