everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
