Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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