Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
