you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
