I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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