sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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