I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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