Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
