Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
