He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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