Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize