He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
