That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
