Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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