My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
