I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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