You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
