she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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