i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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