i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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