So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
