There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
