You smell like a Billy Joel song
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
