I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
