big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
