My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
