Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
