dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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