who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
