i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
