I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
