Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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