I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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