.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
