This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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