just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
