i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize