There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
