With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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