Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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