I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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