Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
