and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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