you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
