I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize