I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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